Ok, ok...it's been a while. I've sat down to write a few times. I've even queued up some posts that still sit in my draft folder,
That whole notion of enough, got me thinking about life in general and the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect, or pretty darn close. Maybe it's where I grew up, where I live, where I work or just who I am...but there is this constant pressure to make it. To dress the best, have the most plans, go to the best places, have the nicest things, to summer at the beach. These are all luxuries that we'd be lucky to have just one of, but for some reason, if and when I don't do them, I feel like I'm falling short.
It's hard not to get swept up in the the race. It's easier to accept the craze, to fall victim to the idea that wearing the same dress to three weddings in a row is uncool, or that your jeans (which are perfectly good) are last season's cut. It's harder to stay rooted in who you are and what you believe, and to do what works for you, especially when everyone around you seems to have life in the fast lane down pat.
There is a lot of change happening around me, and in my life. My best friend from high school got engaged, my roommate graduated from graduate school, in less than a month I'm moving out of my "all girls" apartment and in with a boy, my other best friend will be married by the time the clock strikes July, and my grandparents who have always been summer staples in my house- won't be coming up from Florida this year. While many of these changes are exciting, they're also unsettling. That's what change is- it's flipping things on their head and waiting for them to land. Flipping them on their head- i'm good at, the waiting part- not so good.
I've found myself feeling worried over the last few weeks and getting bogged down by little things that didn't go exactly the way I had hoped, getting upset in comparing myself to someone else, and even freaking out that I was having these feelings. Freaking out over a freak out? Tell me about it! Long story short, I wound up having a long talk with a good friend in which I realized that it's ok to freak out every once in a while, as long as it takes you to a better place.
Greetings from said better place.... now on the other side of my "everything is changing, what is going on" meltdown, I'm very excited about the changes in my life, and I'm looking forward to living more in the moment. To accepting that there are things I can do, can achieve, can afford- and things that I simply can't (even if everyone else around me can).
As we head into Memorial Day Weekend I'm looking forward to savoring the little things I have planned. The first day of packing (eek!), a girls day with my PIC in White Plains, camping out in my backyard with the boy (yes we are that cool), a barbecue with my family, and s'mores by the fire pit.
Thanks for reading my musings.
Happy almost official-start of summer weekend blogobites.