As I thought about my return to blogging, it felt funny to start writing about Ari without sharing anything about my pregnancy or our journey to get pregnant. Yet, it also feels funny to go back to the beginning now that he’s here and almost 5 months old, but this is my blog and I get to decide, so back we go.
Many people think that the process of getting pregnant should be private. That it shouldn't be discussed beyond your partner or immediate family and that it certainly shouldn’t be documented on a blog. To them I say, I couldn't disagree more.
For the % of people for whom getting pregnant isn’t easy, the process can feel endless. It can quickly go from a romantic notion of expanding your family to a doctor going, blood drawing, ultrasounding whirlwind. Above all, it can be lonely. When we first started thinking about getting pregnant I didn't talk about it because doing so felt strange. It wasn’t really anyone’s business and it also wasn’t something that could easily be worked into conversation. “How was your weekend?” “Good. Went out for dinner, saw a movie, took an ovulation test. You?” As the weeks rolled by and the ovulation tests remained blank, friends who knew we wanted kids started asking or mentioning their own plans. At each pregnancy announcement, baby shower and friend’s kid’s birthday party the conversation would inevitably turn to me. At that point, not saying anything felt like lying but going into detail about my monthly cycle felt slightly creepy. Finally I realized that by not saying anything, I was in fact saying something. So I said f#$* it and started telling the truth. Fertility is such a personal thing yet it’s also universal. The more I talked about it, prepared for it, shared my fears around it and googled it, the more I began to feel like this lonely journey, wasn’t so lonely after all.
The next few posts will be dedicated to our experience – what we went through, how we handled it and why I’m so glad I didn’t listen to other people!